Poem - Toy Soldier

Spiraling through darkness
Screaming out in denial – blazing in flames of fury
Marching in step, oblivious to pain
Carrying the burden of everyone's torment
Try to see ahead only to be blinded by the past
Despondent and suffering, step in line
Mindless and without identity, march on
Go forth and conquer
Trudge on and placate
Spoken only in half truths and riddles
Words have little meaning
Feelings are misguided and chaotic
Happiness and security are fleeting
Sadness and Anger are all consuming
But everything ends – the good, the bad, the all...
And everything begins with just one moment
Then free fall until it's over
Fall in and follow the lead
Divide and be conquered by thine self
Await the trial and face the verdict
Gone is innocence, lost are the dreams
Pride and ignorance, gather false courage
Lose the battle and be swept into the war

Originally written in November 2005

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Poem - Birth

She looks into the mirror and sees the monster's glistening eyes.
Teeth Bared - the lips pulled away to nothingness
The wild hair, darkened eyes and blood red cheeks
A scream rips through the night, and crashes into the void.

Feeling the loathing and hatred build,
    she smashes her fists into the glass
    - a small child's stifled cries are heard.
Stopping, she turns and listens for the heartbeat.
The smell of life rises up - the stench of death clouds her.

Shivering, her wet body begins to convulse.
Eyes rolled back, the sickness wells up in
    her throat and she gags.
As she backs against the wall,
    she sees the bloody trail on the floor.
The heart beats violently - she wretches violently.
The monster's eyes are drawn downwards -
    a soft gurgling is suddenly cut off.

The fetus dangles from between her thighs.
Glinting silver, the knife falls to the floor.
In the darkness, the child smiles.

Originally written November 15, 2005

Musings - Hello from the Inside

What is 'normal'? Someone who attends a church? Has 3 kids and a spouse of the opposite sex? A person who would never say anything 'off-color', politically incorrect, or 'dark'?

If these are normal, I'll pass.

I have a little boy and a husband (I'm a woman), cook and clean for my family, and do freelance marketing and writing. I also happen to write some very dark poetry - the kind that makes religious people grab their crucifix in an attempt to cleanse their immediate area and protect them from Satan. Some people might call my writing an abomination, I call it passion. In the few attempts I made to write something 'positive' it felt forced - it felt like a lie. Pick up the newspaper, listen to the news. Bad things happen everyday. People kill other people. What is their motivation? What makes them tick? Maybe they would not kill another human being if they had only learned to express themselves through poetry. I have joked that if not for poetry, I might be a serial killer. I don't think so, but you never know, do you?

In an attempt to focus my personal writing efforts so that I may actually get around to putting a book together, I have decided to start a personal poetry blog. Some of the poems are good - damn good. Some may not be as good, but they needed to be written. Either way, they are all mine, and I am not sorry for writing any of them. Period.